30.12.2022 |
New Year’s Resolutions: Why They Annoy and How You Can Still Achieve Them
So, what have you set for yourself in the new year?
This question has a very special characteristic: It’s annoying!
Expectations are raised.
When you get asked such a question, exciting things happen in your mind.
- Whether you want to or not, you compare your life situation with societal norms and expectations.
- You immediately start, unintentionally, thinking about the lack in your life.
- You normally fall into justification mode.
- You feel a little worse than before.
The reality in your mind.
In your consciousness, your mind shapes the reality in a way that you are relatively content with your everyday life. Not necessarily highly satisfied, but it’s relatively okay.
This phenomenon of ignoring apparent deficiencies in life is called rationalization.
Would you like an example? Sure.
You know exactly that a little more movement in your everyday life would work wonders. Still, you rationalize the situation by telling yourself that you don’t have 10 minutes every day to do some exercises. (But two episodes of your favorite Netflix series work without any problems.)
Crazy? No, very clever.
If you had to admit that you do have the time but prefer sitting on the couch, your brain would have to believe you’re crazy. So the mental defense mechanism rationalization kicks in and finds excuses.
So, you can still do it.
Your brain protects you from the evil movement, because you’re so exhausted from everyday life that you simply don’t feel like doing anything else. This is quite normal and psychologically healthy.
If you still want to make and keep a good resolution, you can follow these three steps.
1. Check your goals
Are your goals realistic and are they truly your goals?
If a goal is too ambitious, it discourages you every day.
It’s even worse if it’s not your goal at all. Go within yourself and think carefully whether you really want it or if it’s a societal norm or someone else’s opinion.
Only if the goal really belongs to you will you stick with it.
2. Break your goal down
Take a calendar. Turn your big yearly goal into twelve monthly goals. From each monthly goal, make four weekly goals, and from each weekly goal, you can, if you want, make seven daily tasks.
Remember not to overwhelm yourself. Then, day by day, you will get closer to your goal.
Just start and follow your plan.
3. Achieving goals is voluntary.
You only have to breathe. The rest is voluntary!
Whenever you feel pressure or receive reproaches, go within yourself and remind yourself why you voluntarily chose your goal.
Who are you when you’ve achieved your goal? A more active person with a better mood? More balanced? ...
Don’t let yourself get stressed. Everything has its time and needs the steps it needs.
It’s okay as it is.
Of course, it’s also okay not to make any resolutions.
Ask yourself again: Who am I when I achieve this goal?
If the honest answer doesn’t appeal to you or doesn’t matter, go back to point one on the list above... or just let it be.
If you or anyone else isn’t harmed by not fulfilling your resolutions this year, it’s okay as it is right now.
You also have the great luxury that good resolutions are not dependent on New Year’s Eve. They are solely dependent on your decision. You’re at the helm of your life and decide who you will become. Every day.
So: Let it flow.
Create the new year 2023 in your own way and all the best,
Stephan
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